Co-Dependency
Co-dependency is a pattern of behaviour or relationship where a person sacrifices and ignores their own needs and well-being for another person, whether a partner, parent, child, friend, or other family members.
Co-dependency is a term which originated in the area of addiction and is frequently used to describe the maladaptive behaviours adopted by those who are/were in close relationship to an alcoholic and/or addict. After many decades of research in the area of family systems therapy and that of family support groups such as AL Anon, the classification for co-dependency broadened to encompass;
Any person who may be affected from living in a dysfunctional family. Co-dependency is an emotional, psychological, and behavioural condition that develops as a result of an individual’s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules (Subby, 1984).
Co-dependency often comes from growing up in a home where emotional neglect was present. Behaviours such as bending over backwards for others or giving the entirety of yourself, a deep desire fix things to keep peace in your home or in your relationships, are common. Wanting to help is a noble trait however it can become problematic when it is repeatedly at the expense of your own sense of self and wellbeing.
Common Symptoms of Co-Dependency Include:
⦁ Low self-esteem
⦁ People-pleasing behaviours
⦁ Difficulty saying no, and setting healthy boundaries
⦁ Caretaking: feeling compelled to take care of others
⦁ Dependency on others
⦁ Feelings of resentment towards others
⦁ Feeling a loss of control over events and relationships
⦁ Feeling unsafe
How I Can Help
Therapy for co-dependency can help identify habitual ways of thinking and patterns of behaviour which are no longer useful to you. Working through the lens of trauma, I will help you to address the underlying causes of co-dependency. Our work together will include, taking the time to become present, alert and approach assumptions, reactions and internal anxieties with curiosity, awareness and understanding. I will help you begin trusting yourself and trusting what you know, to identify your own wants and needs more clearly, to learn how to say no and how to set healthy boundaries without overwhelming feelings of anxiety and shame, and to begin to explore and appreciate what is and is not within your control